Day 18

The NICU stopped and talked with us last night. The bottom line is she's too small at this gestational age for much if any intervention, including steroids. Her current weight is only slightly more than the smallest known survivor and despite what the media reported with this child, the doctor I spoke with had spoken with this child's doctor and he or she has severe handicaps. The percentages of her surviving, even if she were to gain a little weight by the end of the week are practically nothing and out of the small percentage, 9 out 10 have severe handicaps that wouldn't give her any quality of life.

My condition is a little different than most. I have severe preeclampsia, but I also have something called IUGR. Because of the two, it's made it nearly impossible for a positive outcome. I'm not sure yet when I'll deliver, but it will be soon. We're just waiting to hear a little more from the perinatologist. We do know the placenta and the cord will be sent off for testing to see if by chance this was a chromosomal issue. If so, then this was my body's way of taking care of that, but of course, that doesn't make it any easier. If the placenta and cord prove to be fine and not show any sort of abnormality, then there's a 60% chance of this happening to me again.

Needless to say my blood pressure has been terrible. My meds have doubled and they've added more to my iv. I'm trying to just remove myself from the situation so I can get through the next few days. We're working through acceptance and trying really hard to be as strong as we can given the situation.

We want to thank everyone for all the wonderful prayers. I don't know how people can go through any traumatic event without their family and friends. It truly does help. Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we go forward from here.