Day 6

So I am trying to come to terms with the length of this stay. I really need to quit feeling sorry for myself being away from home and get over it. Home isn't going anywhere and will be there when I get out of here. There are several doctors on the case and I met a new one today. He basically gave me another come to Jesus talk. You know, the things you don't want to hear, but you already know. Of course, it's just so much harder hearing it from the pros. And it seems each doctor presents it differently. The one thing I didn't know was that my last labs had gotten a little worse, still not enough for a diagnosis, but enough for some worry. That, of course, was enough for another melt down.

My blood pressure also went up again, but how could it not when I have sat here in tears all day? How can they get an accurate reading when someone is already a mess? So, I laid myself flat on my left side and just went to sleep.

However, on a slightly brighter note, Dr. Youkilis came in not long ago and said my labs came back today and were a little better than they were. They are still not perfect. They are still elevated, but at least that's a good sign for now. He stressed again, it's a day at a time, a week at a time. He did increase my blood pressure medicine. I was on a really low dose, so he raised it slightly. Hopefully, that will start keeping my blood pressure in check.

Today, after all that, I finally truly understood that this isn't about me whining because I can't sleep in my bed or snuggle up with my husband. Not that I didn't already, but I think I may have been feeling sorry for myself and shouldn't have been. I may not be able to do much to keep this from progressing, but I can do whatever I'm told to prolong it from happening. Like they said, one day at a time, one week at a time. If I can make it to 24 weeks, each day gives a little more hope. For those counting, that's 10 more days.

Oh and GO CATS! :)