Today is such a beautiful day to be such a tough week - Mother's Day and all. I think I'm doing okay. I still find time to cry at some point, usually in the mornings and evenings. Although lately, just in the evenings. It's been a few days since a breakdown, so I consider that good. The hardest part for me right now is trying to deal with everyday life again. Basically, getting back out in the public, talking to people and going places and being able to readjust to how my life has changed and accepting that others may not see that.
It's hard when people, whether it be acquaintances, friends, family, etc., would rather just ignore you than have to look you in the eye and even speak. And it's even worse when those people are close to you. I'm still me, maybe a little rattled, but it's still me. Maybe just being around me depresses them; I don't know. I do my best to stay very positive and upbeat around everyone. I may have my moments at home by myself, or with Shannon or Mom, but overall I try not to be "oh whoas me" around anyone.
I guess the point of this entry is a new acceptance for me - my new normal. lol I need to accept these things as a new part of my life and try not to dwell too much on them. Although it's only been a month and I'm still heartbroken, I do see the light ahead. Sometimes it shines brighter than others, but at least it's there.
I've read on other blogs that this happens in these types of situations. I won't lie and say it hasn't hurt my feelings. And I won't lie and say it hasn't hurt that some people I thought were friends never even bothered to check on me during all of this, but then others have come into my life and really made a difference. I guess it's always checks and balances and a big fat that's just life.
Anyway, here's to a beautiful day here in Kentucky. May the sun keeping shining on this old Kentucky home....(boy that was cheesy LOL)